Leareth's Ficblog

TITLE: Nukume Dori 23 - End
FANDOM: Tokyo Babylon/X
RATING: Violence
SUMMARY: "Of course, from another point of view, we have already been here and the Bet settled once before. However, it was you yourself who wanted to repeat it, with full knowledge of who and what I am."

Read here

Thank you, merci beaucoup, 谢谢, to everyone who has been following this fic for so long (and it has been very long!). There's more to come :)

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"You were there. You were right there. Why didn't you protect him?"

Warning for sex and violence.

Read on AO3

Happy new year / bon annee to you all! Once again, thank you for being so patient with me and this story, and I hope you enjoy the new exciting chapter. By the way, if anyone reading lives in Beijing, China ... I'm going to be moving your way :P

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That moment where you realise that in order to properly do the hardest scene in the current chapter you need to set down exactly what happened and effectively rewrite the entire original manga from the other character's point of view ...

Nukume Dori Consequence - chapter ??*
"You were watching at Ikebukuro, weren't you," said the /Kamui/. Casually. Like he hadn't damaged that which was not his. He stood above long coat flowing, rain dripping into his eyes which looked down on Seishirou with obvious amusement.

Seishirou imagined taking out those eyes one by one as payback. But even if he had a chance of defeating the /Kamui/ it would not heal the mark that had been left on his prey. "So you noticed," he replied, removing his sunglasses and giving the /Kamui/ an easy smile. Refusing to rise to the bait.

"Heh." The /Kamui/ leapt down from his perch so that he and Seishirou were on level ground. "Seems to me that you and that Dragon of Heaven are related in some way."

"We made a foolish bet some time ago," Seishirou replied dismissively, pulling out his cigarettes which if nothing else kept his hands from throttling the /Kamui/. Still the /Kamui/ watched him steady and contemplative. The kind of gaze Seishirou was used to giving to others. He would be damned before he gave the /Kamui/ the satisfaction of seeing him affected, but. "Cigarette? Though perhaps it's not the best idea to offer them to a teenager."

"Well ..." The /Kamui/ stepped forward so that he was smiling inches from Seishirou's face. His two eyes seemed full of light. "It's not as if you give a damn about me, right?"

Two eyes. Light eyes. The eyes that had looked at Seishirou at Nakano above a cigarette lighter. It was Subaru who stood before him speaking those words.

Seishirou blinked. The person before him turned and suddenly it was the /Kamui/ again, grinning over his shoulder through the grey rain. Shaken, Seishirou lit his cigarette every instinct he had on highest alert. Had that moment been his imagination? Or was it another, more insidious part of the /Kamui's/ abilities-- "It was that Dragon of Heaven's wish to lose his right eye the same way you did," the /Kamui/ said, almost bored as he leaned against the nearby wall, "however his true Wish is something only you can realise for him. And--" Seishirou flinched as the /Kamui/ lunged snatching the cigarette from his lips, "--his true Wish is different to what you think it is."

---
*basically writing two chapters at the same time--!*

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ND 22.5 - News (excerpt)

"It's about time."

Hokuto's face loomed above him large and close. Black eyeliner gave her reddened green eyes a painful edge, though strangely wasn't smudged. Water-proof makeup, Subaru noted detachedly, that or his sister had just done a touch-up. Weakly he made himself smile. "Good morning, Hokuto-chan."

"Good afternoon. Good 1:23 p.m., good after lunch, good I don't know how long we've been waiting--" The crisp words were choked off as she flung herself down to hug him on the pillow. "Oh, Subaru!"

Wincing Subaru wrapped his free arm around his twin's shoulders. His other arm had an I.V. in it. Now that he could see past her he could tell from the ceiling and nearby window that he was in hospital, no surprise there. Hokuto shook against him and there were tears wetting his neck. The terror he must have put her through ... "I'm all right," Subaru murmured. "I'm all right, nee-chan."

"No, you're not." Abruptly Hokuto pulled back wiping just below her eyes with short, sharp strokes. Her face once she lowered her hands was grim. "You have an abdominal stab wound nearly ten centimetres deep. You have a ripped diaphragm and ruptured stomach, ruptured blood vessels, some intestinal tearing creating a risk of infection, internal swelling, several sutures and stitches--" Subaru flinched as each item was recited knowing it was just the build-up, "--you lost heaven knows how much blood and apparently a woman like that shouldn't have been able to stab as deeply as she did but you actually threw yourself onto the knife what the hell were you trying to do?!"

So much for hoping she would take it easy on him. Not that Subaru could really blame her. "I ... was trying to make things better," he said vaguely.

"By sacrificing yourself? For a complete stranger? How in the name of all the gods does that make things better--"

"Hokuto-chan." The calm voice made Subaru's heart pound. "Maybe it would be better to ask later when Subaru has recovered more strength."

Pushing himself onto his elbows Subaru looked to the far end of the room. There beside the door stood Seishirou, arms folded, leaning against the wall with a smile beneath his glasses and amber eyes. Two eyes. Whole and unharmed. The flip-date on the clock above the door showed there was still two days before the end of the Bet.

Subaru had done it. Things had changed.

---

Skipping writing the Seishirou-centric scene for now because holy crap is it tricky. Thankfully the rest of the chapter is flowing much more smoothly.

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Posting from sunny Sydney, Australia ...

I've gone from literally one extreme end of the globe (Iceland winter!) to the other (Aussie summer!) in the matter of days and it did a bit of a number on my brain. That could be a good thing.

TITLE: Nukume Dori Annex X - Questions
SUMMARY: Lady Sumeragi receives a phone message from Tokyo, and an ambitious young man encounters an interesting witness.*

Read on AO3

* It may be an idea to re-read the Kyoto chapters of this story

/goes back to writing the actual chapter

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Posting from the artsy end of Berlin, Germany ...

For all the fabulous, wonderful readers I've met over all these years, from Canada, the USA, Malaysia, Singapore, Australia, and particularly the last few months in NYC, Washington DC, Boston, and Hamburg. I can't believe how many people around the world have been following this fic for so long O.O;;

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More footsteps came, these ones measured, more deliberate. She knew whose they were, and didn't look up to greet their owner when he stopped at her side. "I got us bentos," Seishirou said evenly.

"... Thanks." A plastic box appeared in front of Hokuto's face. She took it and Seishirou sat down beside her. The bento was a cheap combini one warm to the touch. Seishirou must have gotten someone to heat it up. "I don't think we're supposed to eat here," said Hokuto softly.

"I won't tell if you don't." He had already opened his bento and was beginning to eat. The smell of teriyaki made Hokuto's mouth water -- maybe she was hungry after all. And she needed to keep up her strength. Popping the lid, she snapped the chopsticks and began to eat.

An uneasy quiet followed filled only with the sounds of chewing. Something in Hokuto abstractly marvelled at it given that morning. If she hadn't been crying or screaming Subaru's name she had been pinning down nurses demanding to know what happened, where her brother was, his condition, who was taking care of him and anything else that popped into her head. Asking questions made her feel like she was doing something. She had probably caused the hospital staff a lot of trouble. Thankfully Seishirou had been there and calm enough to keep her from breaking down completely.

Very calm.

Carefully, Hokuto turned to look at Seishirou, the first time today that she was paying him any real close attention. He sat casually, focused on his food as he ate. His hair was neat, his glasses polished, and his black suit only slightly rumpled after a whole day's wear. For all that Seishirou was nine years older Hokuto had never felt the age gap between them other than as something to tease about, but now she found herself profoundly grateful that he as an adult could take charge while she cried like her world was ending. At the same time, that gratitude made her defensive. Seishirou was not someone she wanted to look vulnerable in front of. She couldn't afford to because, because ...

Chopsticks up, chopsticks down. Hokuto watched his steady hands. For a man who had seen his lover stabbed by a madwoman, Seishirou was remarkably composed.

----------

Big change over at chez Leareth with yet another change of continent on the way, but after a whirlwind week of mad packing and cleaning I'm looking forward to a long break to relax, catch up with a whole lot of reading/TV/anime, and of course, writing. (Suddenly ND22 is no longer looking quite so intimidating.) And travel. I'll be returning to New York next week, and this time extending my travels out to Washington DC and Boston, so if anyone has any recommendations for things to do or see (or if you're interested in meeting up!), leave a message!

This entry was originally posted at http://inkpawprints.dreamwidth.org/39139.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

These are incredibly quick to write I feel productive, especially with the actual chapter being like pulling teeth (damn you Sakurazukamori). First one here.

a shop
"Quality is not just worth buying for, it's also more economical," insists Hokuto, rummaging through the dress rack. "Something that is made well is made to last -- if you buy one coat that's worth sixty thousand yen but will last for a decade, it's cheaper than buying a cheap nine thousand yen coat every year for ten years."

"Very true, but in the first scenario you only get one coat, whereas the second gives you a new coat every year so you can keep up with fashion," Seishirou replies, also rummaging. He already has three different shopping bags slung over his arm. "And I know you like to keep up with fashion."

"Ah, ah, ah, that, Sakurazuka Seishirou-san, is where you're wrong. I have style, not fashion, and there's a big difference. Fashion is fleeting, style is forever -- it just so happens that I have lots of styles. Ohoho!"

"I see." Seishirou grins, the warm light catching his glasses. "What do you think of this?"

He holds up a skirt, flared, knee-length, and printed with a black-and-white photograph of a Parisian street. Hokuto's face lights up. "Oh that is adorable très chic I love it! Please say it's in my size, please!"

"Extra small, and the very last one." He throws the skirt over the rack.

"Woohoo!" Hokuto catches the skirt easily and holds it over her orange shorts and thigh-high black socks, examining herself in front of the mirror. "Oh, this looks perfect we're so definitely getting it!"

"Don't you need to try it on?" asks Seishirou as she throws the skirt back at him.

"Nope! After all my shopping and clothes experience I have an instinct for these things, and I can tell you right now that skirt is going to be perfect on me. Go pay for it, will you Sei-chan?"

"Hai, hai."

Ruefully he goes to obey. Hokuto preens for a moment not noticing the three teenage girls who have come out of the fitting rooms behind her. "Hokuto-chan?" one asks uncertainly.

Hokuto turns, surprise quickly turning into delight. "Kanako-chan! And Aya-chan and Rei-chan!" Pixie-like she jumps over to the girls who welcome her with squeals and hugs. "What are you all doing here?"

"Sales hunting, same as you!" laughs Aya. "You look amazing as always, where did you get that cape?"

"Vintage shop!" Hokuto twirls so the black half-cape flares out to best effect. "We'll have to all go there together sometime after school, did we have English homework due this week I can't remember."

"No, this week it's Japanese literature. You should have told us you were going shopping today we could have all come out together!"

"Ahaha, well, I'm actually out with another friend--"

"Hokuto-chan!" The four girls look over to where Seishirou is standing with a salesgirl. "They're giving away a promo with each purchase over ten thousand yen. Do you want a mini-perfume or a lip-gloss?"

"Mini-perfume! And if you can get the salesgirl to give me the lip-gloss too even better!"

Cheekily Hokuto waves at him before returning to her school friends. Their eyes are wide and round as they take in Seishirou: tall, dark, handsome, and charming the salesgirl to a blush. "Is he - is that man your boyfriend, Hokuto-chan?" asks Kanako, awed.

"My boyfriend?" To that notion Hokuto can only laugh, bright and uproariously in a way that leaves zero room for doubt. "Absolutely not! For one thing he's already taken, and even if he wasn't in many ways we're far, far too alike. My boyfriend, pfft, noo~o way." Suddenly she grins. "He is part of my family, though."

"Huh?"

"All done, Hokuto-chan," Seishirou calls from the counter. "And it's nearly one, we're going to have to hurry if we're to make our lunch reservation upstairs."

"Okay!" With a wink Hokuto flits away leaving the three girls to their confusion. "Have to go, sorry, can't leave my brother-in-law waiting. I'll see you all in class, ne?"

next: subaru and seishirou, a train

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Because the next chapter is rather ... complicated to write, I'm procrastinating. Sort of. In trying to plot the next chapter I distracted myself wondering about the characters' simple daily life just being together before everything changes in 'Rebirth'. And since the beginning of the 'Rebirth' chapter mentions The past two weeks or so had passed in a blur though it hadn't felt like it at the time, it had just felt like a languid dream I started sketching scenes.

Slice of life, first of perhaps seven set between Nukume Dori 'Box' and 'Rebirth', inspiration from and parallel to a similar item-related scene in the X/1999 manga.


a tie
The early morning sun strikes the floor sculpting a landscape from the clothes that carelessly lie about there. A loose green tie creates a shadowed tree-line, a pair of jeans makes hills and valleys, a light blue shirt could be a lake. Their owners on the bed above make a different landscape, one of dunes and slacks as their warm limbs flow around each other. When one of them rises it's like a minor earthquake, shifting and reshaping bodies until eventually like sand what is left settles once more. Subaru yawns. "Is it a full day at the clinic today?" he asks.

"Mostly." Absently the tie is retrieved from the floor. "We're meeting Hokuto-chan for lunch, though, before you go home."

The far wardrobe is opened revealing an orderly array of pressed shirts, folded jumpers, and dark suits hanging neatly over a row of polished shoes. With practiced care Seishirou rolls up yesterday's tie to place it with its fellows before selecting underwear and a pair of dark grey trousers. Subaru watches from the bed in shy admiration. "You always dress so well," he murmurs.

"You like?"

"Very much." A crisp white shirt is selected and pulled on covering skin that Subaru had kissed last night. "It's something you and Hokuto-chan have in common."

"As Hokuto-chan would say, what you wear reflects how you wish to be seen by the world, and all men should know how to tie a tie." Seishirou casts a sly grin over his shoulder. "Besides, I do appreciate a good suit. Have you ever worn one? A proper suit, not one of Hokuto-chan's interpretations."

"Not often. Usually for formal occasions I wear traditional clothing. But I can tie a tie."

"Oh?" Cuffs buttoned, Seishirou walks over to the bed his shirt undone at the collar and a length of wine-red silk in hand which he holds out. His smile is one of challenge. "You know how to take it off. Let me see how you put it on."

Slowly Subaru takes the tie and pulls. For a moment it stretches between them taut and straight, hissing a little through Seishirou's fingers until the other end falls. "What happens if I can't?" Subaru asks, rising from the sheets to his knees.

"You won't be allowed to get dressed. And I'll be late for work."

"Ah." Slim fingers reach up to place the tie around Seishirou's neck, the first crossover deliberately incorrect. Subaru's eyes sparkle close under Seishirou's grin. "I'll do my best, then."

next: hokuto and seishirou, a shop

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From Tumblr: Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask/fan mail. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

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COMMENTARY
There have been a few scenes I have been carrying in my head since I started writing this fic ... over ten years ago. Seishirou with Subaru's lighter at the end of Crime. Subaru's confession at the MS Institute. The kiss under the fireworks in Kyoto. Matsumoto's death. And this scene. In my head it's incredibly quiet, with only the sound of rain, and slow. Every movement, every breath and every touch means something. To finally be able to write it after all this time was sheer relief because holy crap I've made it to this point. They've made it to this point. We've all come a long way.

Subaru. He's realising that he can't fix everything, that it's not his place to do so, and thanks to Matsumoto - who I adored writing, I really felt bad that his story had to end the same - he's realised that in a relationship you have to learn to forgive and let go of being angry and give primacy to the relationship. More importantly, he's realised that the Bet isn't just something he's trapped in, in a way, Seishirou is also trapped in it. Any other person, if treated the way Subaru has treated Seishirou throughout the course of the fic, would have walked away, but Seishirou is bound by his word and can't. This scene is Subaru applying all of that, and it's incredibly important that while Seishirou has appeared here, the first step is taken by Subaru. (The fact that Seishirou takes the second 'bringing the umbrella over them both' is just as important). It coalesces everything, and gives Subaru the confidence, trust and peace of mind to take the other first step of physical intimacy with Seishirou, something he's always wanted but been too afraid and unsure to go through with.

Seishirou ... is complicated. There's a hint of wariness and hesitancy on his part here, even defensiveness. He's not sure how Subaru is going to react - their interaction immediately previous to this was chaotic, violent, with anger and desire all mixed together - and he's here purely because by the terms of the Bet, his terms of the Bet which bind him to Subaru's side for a period of time. His pride however means he won't do more than that: it's essentially here I am, this is the bare minimum expected of me, but that's all I will do. Your move. Seishirou for all that he's the Sakurazukamori is not utterly without feeling, and for he himself he has been reaching the limits of his patience with Subaru for some time. (Side note: on the emotionlessness of the Sakurazukamori, I have my own interpretation which I'll be teasing out more over the rest of the fic, but the short version is not that Seishirou is utterly incapable of emotion otherwise he'd be a bland character, but the extremities of emotion, the profound emotion that collapses and changes your world, and more importantly empathy is a different matter). What is less apparent but I hope hinted at throughout the fic, is that he's also tired. It's not something he's aware of, but it's perhaps the most overt sign that even if he doesn't consciously remember the Final Day and whatever he felt for Subaru then, something inside of him does. His breath catching when Subaru initiates that touch of lips to palm isn't just a reaction of surprise and desire, it's a reaction that is not controlled. Seishirou is far less self-aware than he thinks and holds himself out to be - something the Sakura is well aware of.

As for me ... looking back at my posting history I was writing this chapter at the end of 2012 into early 2013. I was writing it having moved literally to the other side of the world starting a new job, dealing with the onset of European winter, and taking trips to London, France and New York. The characters have come a long way and so have I: when I started writing this fic I was in the first year of a law degree at university in one of the most isolated cities in the world. At time of posting the chapter I had been practicing lawyer for several years and lived in four different cities on three continents. There's still more to come.

Feel free to ask anything else :)

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